Should a Woman Call the Guy She Met on Backpage Site First?


I have always been old fashioned when it comes to who should call who first. I have never asked for a guy’s phone number…ever. And if a backpage guy offers his number to call him, I usually say, “I’m old-fashioned, I prefer for a man to call me first.“, then provide him with my phone number. And guys listen up…if I am actually giving my number out, then it means that I AM interested and the guy SHOULD call me.

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But I do know that many women have a hard time saying no, when a guy asks for her number. That sometimes, (even though its cruel) she will give him a fake number. I have to be honest I have done this in the past, because I am just horrible with conflict when it comes to letting down a guy. I hate to hurt people’s feelings. But I am much better about it now, I usually say “That’s sweet, I am flattered but I’m just not interested, but thank you.” Saying that in as sweet of a voice as possible and being sincere. It’s not like they really “know” me to really be hurt, right?

And most of the time, when I give out my number, I walk away from the situation thinking to myself, “Yes, it would be great if he called, but I won’t hold my breathe.” It seems 1 out of 7 guys actually DO call. Why the hell is that? And don’t tell me they lost the number. But when I do receive a call, it is a pleasant surprise. I guess initial impressions say it all.

It does seem that the older I get, the more bold I get. Maybe because I am more comfortable in my skin than when I was in my 20′s or its because I have “been around the block” a few times. Who knows. Once, I met this adorable guy on an airplane, we continued to chat at baggage claim and he gave me his card to call him. So in return I gave him mine and of course said, “I prefer a man to call me first.” : ) Days went by. I think about 4 actually. (Really, do men have a 5 day rule or something? That’s another subject!)

So my bold self, decided to not call him but text him…I texted “So, I met this adorable guy on the plane last weekend, and I haven’t heard from him, do you have any advice? kristin“. Heehee. Smart, huh? I received a text back immediately! He thought my text was quite cute and told me that he was home for 2 days than went back out of town and left my card at home. So as I always tell myself, never try to assume what happened. It’s not worth it, because you never really know what is going on in someone else’s head or in their life. So when he returned we did get together for some very wonderful backpage dates.

So I think that is the closest I have ever come to actually calling the backpage guy first. Not sure I will break my rule even though as I have read some men would love to be pursued. You see, in the blogging world, I always pay attention whether its a female or male writer. It makes a huge difference of what sex the author is when it comes to writing about backpage dating and relationships. Not surprising, since “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” as John Gray has stated. So true.